January 2010
27 posts
Rip Torn has finally done everything every man...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_people_rip_torn_arrested
Here’s another “original quote”...
1 tag
WatchTop 3 movie experience of all time this evening. I attended a screening of this film, and could not recommend it more. It is a simply amazing portrait of an amazing man.
Not only is Mr. Withers wildly talented, his music incredibly soulful, but he is so gentle, and so effortlessly funny, I found myself in absolute amazement.
Amazing seemed to be the theme of the night because, to top it off,...
If a restaurant cannot sit you immediately, refuse to sit at the bar, and do not order a drink. They want to dull your senses and weaken your resolve. I let my glowering serve as a constant reminder they must find me a seat.
If your woman doesn’t make you feel like...
I don’t wear my seatbelt. Sure, lives are saved, but waist-high paralysis numbers fire through the roof. And if I can’t walk, I’m going to ask you to kill me.
I hope the mosquito that got me on my ankle is shot and killed by firing squad - his blood, and mine, thrown against the wall behind him.
“I thought there was pornography on the TV, but it was just Beyonce.”
– My Mom
I think this should be a rule: You aren’t allowed to play football too closely to people who aren’t playing football.
Who would you rather buy a watch from: the second...
Do you think the first droplet that flies out of the toilet when you’re standing and peeing is just water or is there some pee there?
I think the downward force of the pee stream is enough for me to believe it’s just displaced water. There’s got to be enough momentum on that urine to break the Hydrogen bonding of the toilet water, right?
I’m not sure. I just know that drop usually lands...
1 tag
Never cut your cheeseburger in half. It’s unbecoming of a man. Take it down as is.
“The only thing I see that is distinctly different about me is I’m not...”
– Will Smith
I know Drew Carey hosts The Price Is Right, but did you know Wayne Brady hosts Let’s Make a Deal? I had no clue. I guess I’m less surprised Wayne Brady hosts an gameshow revival, and more surprised that revival isn’t The Match Game hosted by Greg Proops.
Would it have been funnier to say Brad Sherwood hosting Tic-Tac-Dough? I’m a little worried the latter is funnier and...
I resolve to replace the word "eating" with the...
(Neil smashing a slice of pizza)
Friend: Hey Neil. What are you up to?
Neil: I'm making poop.
1 tag
